Triple threat cop out and other Wrestlemania nonsense

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Jerich v Owens is one of the few matches to look forward to.

I hate triple threat matches.  Often a way to let someone lose the title without losing the match.  A brand protector, a cop out.

It seems Wrestlemania is already shaping up to have a nice little collection.

Instead of what would have been an excellent Bayley v Sasha at Wrestlemania, the WWE decided in its wisdom to give that match away on Raw and have a triple threat instead.  I know we suspend belief when we watch wrestling, but what logical mind thinks that its reasonable that a champion can lose a title without being pinned or tapping out?   The same logical minds that had Randy Orton win the Rumble, turn down the chance of a title shot, burn down a house as part of a pre-planned “scheme” and then want his title match again – in the meantime giving us weeks of story-line for a replacement opponent for Bray.

Talking of Wrestlemania, its a good job that traditionally its longer than other PPV’s because with the extended entrances of Enzo, Undertaker, Goldberg, New Day, Bray and others, its going to need to be.  I confidently predict that in the time it takes for the Undertaker to get to the ring, you could leave your seat, get yourself a beer and be back well before his pyrotechnic ring nonsense has even started.

I digress, getting back to the triple threat cop out, we have a new addition, in events on Raw more obvious than a fart in a lift, we unsurprisingly see the Raw tag titles being a triple threat match at Wrestlemania.  Oh good.

The mixed tag match that has a rumour of Cena proposing to Nikki, there’s very little to feel excited about and in relation to that, if it does happen, its likely to be cringe worthy and vomit inducing – If Internet chat is to be taken seriously, it likely to be booed out of the stadium too.

The battle of the part-timers seems to have more people discussing how long the match is going to last rather than the winner, who it seems has already been decided upon.

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When it Reigns it bores.  Not accordingly to the WWE – you love him, really you do.

Undertaker v Reigns?  it will be the like the battle of the undead, the man who pretends to be some sort of supernatural dead person against the wrestler whose gimmick died long ago to which the WWE seems blissfully unaware of.  The only saving grace of this match is that it will be very interesting to see how they play the result, there’s creative reasons why both should not lose.  Maybe in WWE tradition in the absence of a triple threat, we will just have a good old fashioned run in.

Big Slow is now allegedly in the Andre the Giant Battle Royal.  I’ll expect Big Show to win then, especially since its rumoured to be his last show.

There is some promise though for this years event.  Jericho v KO will be great and I think Bray and Randy will put on a great show too.   Despite being a cop out triple threat, I think we can expect some great moments from the Raw Womens Title – all three are great in the ring and can put on a fine match.  We can expect a few other official announcements of matches before the event which I’m sure will offer more, but even so, my expectation for this years Wrestlemania is of a mid month PPV at best.

And finally, remember – If you don’t swallow the nonsense parts of the WWE, you are a hater and probably part of the anti-establishment minority too.  A minority I hasten to add that seems far louder in live events than the “majority”.

 

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WWE and the ruin of Gallagher?

nintchdbpict000285321404Like many people, I was excited with the debut of Jack Gallagher in the WWE.

Watching that first match I could not help but be reminded of the UK wrestling great Les Kellett, who was able to inject just the right amount of comedy into his matches to make them funny and entertaining but meaningful at the same time.

Then the WWE creative team got hold of him.

What it seems we have now is a stereotypical “Englishman” (as imagined by someone who has never been to the UK) but added “bonus” of the WWE creative and their own “humour” which as we well know from the past can be a very hit or miss affair, the later seemingly the most popular.

Jack Gallagher has one heck of a good reputation from his work outside the WWE, having been both the FSW and GSW champion to name just two of his achievements, but just like we saw Terry Funk changed into Chainsaw Charlie (and the numerous other victims of WWE creative) we now have Gallagher as some sort of Mary Poppins character, complete with umbrella that is even used to “parachute” onto his opponents outside of the ring.

But who is responsible for this?  We can look at the writers for their unfunny jokes, silly gimmicks and reputation destroying angles, or we can ask “Who is giving these ideas (and I use that word loosely) the thumbs up?”

Tea parties, umbrella’s and pointy moustaches – its all there on show and even Neville was allowed to cut a promo highlighting how ridiculous the whole gimmick is.  When you make an angle/gimmick out of how bad another wrestlers gimmick/angle is, something is wrong, surely?

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Les Kellett.  Click the image for footage!

In the meantime we can still look to wrestlers like Tyler Bate to see British stars performing with professionalism and not being treated like a sideshow.  I wonder how long that will last?

As for Gallagher, here’s what I think the plan is.  Gallagher will beat Neville at Fastlane which will lead to Neville moving on and challenging for the UK championship.

Had the WWE taken lessons from Kellett footage and let Gallagher take more of that persona, I think we would have had a much bigger star.

What we have now in Gallagher is a decent wrestler and performer, trapped in an angle so silly its enough to sour the cream on your scones and make your tea go tepid.

18/02/17 – Weekly roundup. The good, the bad and John Cena.

george-steele-2First up and most importantly, is the sad news of George the Animal Steele passing away this weekend.  I grew up with his matches and he was a character you loved and never forget. I’m sure everyone’s thoughts are with his family at this sad time.

The road to Wrestlemania is something we can expect to hear in nearly every other sentence, that and the symbolic “lets point at the WM sign” technique by everyone who got an invite to feature on the show.

For the likes of Bo Dallas, I doubt the main card of Wrestlemania is where he is headed, but I’d take a card full of Bo Dallas matches if the WWE promised not to feature nonsense such as Carmella and the Ellsworth story.

For many years, myself and friends in the literary/sport & entertainment world have commented that the WWE creative team has major failings (mainly skill) but now even the mainstream fan base have woken up to realise that there is a rot at the core of the WWE’s creative staff – and it smells worse than an Emmalina promo.

Raw came out with a reasonable show last week, Emmalina make her “debut” amongst rumours that the character was being dropped due to her not being up to the task.  Dropped or not, I cannot be the only one who after 30 or seconds of uncomfortable viewing and bad acting, scratched their figurative head saying “What the f#ck?”

Bayley won the WWE Womens championship in a very good match, unfortunately the WWE refused to let her win cleanly so it says to me she won’t be holding the title for long and the WWE have other ideas for the face of the Raw Womens division.

The KO and Jericho storyline started its new direction with the turn we all knew was coming.  For me this sets up nicely a reason for KO to lose his title to Goldberg in Fastlane (either by Jericho trying to help and win back KO or just straight interference) and a Jericho v KO match at Wrestlemania.

Personally I’d not have booked the KO/Jericho storyline because I think it detracted from the Womens title changing hands.

Roman Reigns beat Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows

Kofi Kingston beat Bo Dallas

Jack Gallagher beat Noam Dar

Braun Strowman beat Mark Henry

Sami Zayn beat Rusev

Akira Tozawa beat Ariya Daivari

Cesaro beat Enzo Amore

And of course as mentioned earlier – Bayley beats Charlotte Flair

Moving on to Smackdown, if the Emmalina promo was bad, the WWE Carmella angle was a close second, I’ll mention it now only to get it out the way.

Not on Smackdown or part of any current storyline, there are rumours that Cena might be taking a break for other projects after WrestleMania.  Rumours or not, all I’d say is – don’t feel you need to rush back John.

Bray Wyatt cut a decent promo for the start of the show and really there can be no complaints in his title reign because the man does bring much presence to the ring.  That presence though could not be allowed to continue for long and Cena came out to get the focus on himself.

So then we get AJ joining the merry band of the champ and the narcissist out in the ring, happy providing the WWE booking staff with all the excuse they needed to shy away from a singles rematch and determining a winner and instead reverting to the form of the triple threat match thus insuring there is plenty of excuses for the loser and no wrestler brands suffer any damage.

The final segment of the show was interesting with Orton refusing to wrestling Wyatt at Wrestlemania.  Presumably this means that we will get that match at SummerSlam, once the WWE has come to the end of its Wyatt family story.

Whilst Orton’s display of loyalty to his “master” fits the storyline nicely, what its really done is make the Royal Rumble a bit of a pointless exercise as we now have a number one contender to find to go against Wyatt.

But hey this is logic and the WWE.  Two words that should never be in the same sentence.

American Alpha def. The Ascension

Baron Corbin savagely attacked Dean Ambrose

Mickie James def. Becky Lynch

WWE Champion Bray Wyatt def. John Cena and AJ Styles in a Triple Threat Match